Super Bowl Ring Man, Part 2

We sat face to chest as he rambled. Viking Joe Kansas scored points with me: "You looked beautiful so I asked you to dance," "I'm 49" (my age then), "divorced" (me too), and that he'd played for an NFL team* decades earlier (Unlike me. I didn't make the final cut). I'd need to sleep with him to see the ring, I figured. But I'd suffocate and die in the process. It'd thus be challenging to share the story. Then again, I could be on top, but I'm afraid of heights. What to do?

"Why'd you only play for a year?" I asked.

"I got kicked off," Viking said. "There was a bad call, the refs jumped in, . . . I tore into the guy's face. But we're cool. We're buddies now," he chuckled, lifting his third beer for another swig.

Caring and helpful as I am, Viking Joe could've told me anything that night, and I'd take him home. So when he asked for a ride home because he lost his driver's license due to extreme alcohol habits, I readily agreed. "I warn you, though, I carry pepper spray." Oh yeah, that would've worked. Pretty pink covered full-proof ladies' pepper spray, tucked away in my bulging purse for moments when I need to say, 'Excuse me, sir, would you kindly keep your hands and body parts to yourself, open your eyes real wide and freeze so I can find my pretty pink pepper spray, aim, and then shoot? Thank you.'

We got to my car. I opened the passenger's door to shift the seat as far back as it would go. "I never had anyone so big in this car. The Prius is a compact."  I giggled.

"It's alright, I got it." He's still flexible, I thought, as Viking Joe settled into the carseat. 

Here's when I stop for a Public Service Announcement: No matter how caring and thoughtful she is, and no matter what kind of ring a man's hiding, or how many DUIs (Driving Under the Influence) he complains about, no female should ever get into a car with a male she don't know - especially not one built like a pregnant elephant.  

Stay tuned for the final score.

*I honestly don't remember which team he played for - NY maybe. He played pre-Internet. So you'll have to take my word, based on his word, for it. Other folks in town have told me it's true and I've since found random photo evidence.