Reasons #24-28 for Celibacy, Winner Has Job AND Teeth!

Dear Sillies, 
   Let's get back to some dating ad nonsense, shall we? Please enjoy this slew of reasons for my celibate existence these and most days. 
  Be well. Keep a smile, hope, and a stash of chocolate. 
  I love ya. ~~~(@

REASON #24: I have been single since me and my ex wife got divorced. Um, dude, why did you divorce your ex wife? In CA, you need not repeat the dreaded process. Sorry I didn’t tell you that years ago.

REASON #25: 3ft7 384lbs all hairy with warts covering the hump on my back, cross-eyed, drooling, no teef, pimpled faced, peg legged and club footed, hung like a hamster, living in a van down by the river. I'm dead sexxay. Okay okay, not really, but I figured this would at least get a chuckle or two, and if not, then you might not get my cents, since, sense yeah, that's it, sense of humor. Just ask me anything you want to know, I am an open book when it comes to myself, no need to hide anything. I beg to differ.
REASON #26: I'm a single dad with a 7 year old daughter. Absolute angle and the love of my life. Poor girl. Is she obtuse, acute, or perpendicular?
REASON #27: Have job and teeth. Winner! {Note: See competition.} Have number? Free tonight?
 
REASON #28: Hay: I am all that I am because I am not afraid to try (now that’s deep) . (Deep is a relative term. You’re relatively challenged. Aren’t you, babe?) ok now that the bs is a flying lets get real.I believe that the cup is three quarters full. Full of what, sweetie?