My Story, Yours Too.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Election Loss: Kanye West Launches Presidential Run for 2024!

 Dear Sillies,

   I've a special guest for you today! Yes, fresh off of the campaign trail, the one and only legend in his one and only ego-infested mind, Presidential candidate for 2020 who lost by a shocking landslide, Kanye West. Welcome, Kanye!

   Note: All that's highlighted are ACTUAL Kanye quotes. *oops, I mean, except the last one, but he would've said that if he met me.

Kanye breaks through the stage curtains shouting: "Welp! West 2024!"

Robyn: Look at you, Mr. West. 60,000 votes for President! Whew! That's less than .04 PERCENT of the 160 MILLION total votes. Even worse than Trump's historic loss. Robyn emits a giggle-snort. You did concede, I give ya that. What do you have to say for yourself?

Kanye: I am Shakespeare in the flesh.

Robyn: I see. And like Shakespeare, you've done some writing. You wrote your name on your home-state of Wyoming's ballot. You failed to get on that ballot and on the ballots of 38 states! Go you! Robyn jumps in giddy cheerleader fashion, forming an X in the air and landing, well, on her tuchas. Unaffected, she asks, What were you thinking?

Kanye: Here's something that's contrary to popular belief. I actually don't like thinking. 

Robyn's eyebrows shoot up, as she rises to her feet. Say it isn't so!

Kanye: I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I do not like to think at all.

Robyn: You're blowing my mind, sir. Blowing my mind!

Kanye smiles, complimented. Every time I say something that's extremely truthful out loud, it literally breaks the Internet. 

Robyn looks at the camera, I can't. I just can't. She turns to Kanye and steps within inches of him. Literally, dumbf*k, literally nothing and nobody can break the Internet. Get the *bleep* off my stage, narcissistic idiotic moronic *bleepin* *bleep!*

Kanye raises his arms in a victory "v", shouts You f*kn crazy *bleep* midget. I don't *bleepin* need this *bleep!* A sympathetic, ever indebted Beyonce scurries to his side and escorts him out of the studio.

Robyn: I'm very sorry it came to this folks. Welp! That's a wrap. Take good care of yourselves and stay away from the *bleepin* *bleeps!*

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/kanye-west-quotes
Here's something that's contrary to popular belief: I actually don't like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I do not like to think at all.
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/kanye-west-quotes

26 comments:

  1. It's hard to believe he lost. I'm devastated.

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  2. We don't *bleepin* need this *bleep!* either. But at least one loser can admit it and be escorted out.

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    1. I know, EC. I forget which comic, but someone did a hilarious bit on how even Kanye can admit defeat. Even Trump's homestate celebrated his loss, as did Paris and London.

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  3. Replies
    1. And he has four years to work on getting his paperwork in to all the states, plus work on writing his name - should he fail again to get this done, Alex.

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  4. 60,000 votes in the wrong state could have done some real damage. I think we need to put to an end celebrities in elected offices.

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    1. Seems to me if all of the Kardashians liked him, that could've put him over-the-top, Jeff. Haha.

      We need to make the process entirely different and entirely not capitalistic. You shouldn't have to be a millionaire or billionaire to run for office.

      Delete
  5. Believe it or not, I actually know somebody who voted for this turkey.

    We've already had one egotistical semi-literate shit-for-brains as president. Kanye would feel too much like a rerun.

    I expect Trump will accuse him of being born in Kenya. His name is almost the same word.

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    1. I believe it, Infidel. I'd have been tempted to vote for him, as a joke, especially since CA was going Biden-Harris anyway. But why give him more satisfaction? Ha. Yeah, Trump would accuse him of being from Kenya, would call him Kenya, and I can't imagine the other madness between them.

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  6. To some extent, Kanye in conceding is the bigger person. That says something? anything? Maybe 2024....
    Ha - as always, you are bleepin' hilarious

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    1. Yes, absolutely, Joanne. Kanye is a bigger person than Trump. And the Kardashian dynasty is bigger than Trump Towers. I still loathe him, but he'd make a better Prez. Oy vey. May it never come to that.

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  7. Just what we need. Another mentally unsound celebrity that will leave this country directionless.

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    1. I know, Bathwater. Thank goodness, hopefully, almost assuredly, we won't have that!

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  8. I get it. Thinking is overrated. Why think when you could not think instead!

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    1. Buawaaahaha! I think you're right, Annalisa.
      Thanks for the clarity. Smiles.
      And thanks for making me chuckle.

      Delete
  9. How did he actually get 16,000 votes. I wonder if it was only 16. I believe Intervention time is needed.

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    1. Yeah, how did he get more than one vote? I doubt the whole family voted for him. That would've put him over-the-top. Smiles.
      It's past time for high-powered intervention, true.
      Thanks, Birgit.

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  10. Brain cells must have boarded another train with that one.

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  11. His mistake was not running as VP with Hillary Clinton in '16. Yes, I voted for her, not that pile of shit who's been stinking up DC these past 4 years. At least Kanye apologized to Taylor Swift, which is beyond Trump's dwindling list of human functions. Has he ever apologized to anybody?

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    1. If he tries to say "sorry," Geo, it likely comes out as "soreally you're a *bleepin* *bleep." He should not qualify as a human being.

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  12. Replies
    1. Really? Good for you. He quieted down about it when he only managed to get paperwork in for 12 states. He actually did worse than a mostly unknown Libertarian.

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