Hi, friends. Lifted directly from men’s on-line personal ads, and embellished by my italicized snark, I now present reasons 216 through 223 for [not just me but] any straight, single woman to choose celibacy (and a stash of re-chargeable batteries). The ads always tend to amuse as much as they perplex. Enjoy.
REASON #216: I'll know you're it when I fund you!! Fund me, babe, and I’ll know you’re it!!
REASON #217: looking someone just to spin time Spin time? Sorry, hon. I’ll do low-impact aerobics or 12 minutes of zumba, max, but I draw the line at spin time.
REASON #218: Life is for the Living So what’s your stance on zombie rights?
REASON #219: Seeking intellegent person. Keep seeking, sir. Perhaps she’ll show you how to use spell check.
REASON #220: I know. i should have used spell chick Spell chick? Vanna White? I’m sure you wouldn’t be the first to use her.…one more thing on texting,the word suggestion thing is just plan rediculous,it replaces dating with eating,so it i ever text you and I say "I wouldn'r mind eating you" don't take it personal. Oh crap! All the times I obliged a man who wanted to “eat” me, and he didn’t mean it. Oops!
REASON #221 is just painful: no an I have too choldern Lookining to meet som sone fun atractive goutgoing an ounist thets also understanding that nobodys pefeckt
REASON #222: Someone between Lady GaGa Mother Tersa
Between an outlandish man-woman performer and a saintly sister missing an “e” who’s been dead for 16 years? Well, at least you’re not as picky as the next guy:
REASON #223: I’m pickier than a momma monkey so good luck ladies!
Have a good Monday and new week, everyone.
To my friends in the US, Happy President's Day.