My Story, Yours Too.

Sunday, March 3, 2019

Root Beer Chocolate, Detox, InSanity

Dear Sillies,
   Are you staying warm enough? I sure hope so. Spring is only a few weeks away - something to keep in mind while you're bundling up.
   I've a mixed post for you. 
   
   Please be good to yourselves.
   We'll catch up later in March.

   First, I sampled Theo's Root Beer Barrel, a root beer flavored chocolate bar.
I like root beer, and you know I love chocolate. This chocolate bar has a solid root beer flavor. But I wanted more chocolate goodness. The mixture doesn't work. It might work if you add vanilla ice cream, as it made me crave a root beer float. On the plus side: It's Fair trade. It's a pretty wrapping. It wasn't bad. I'll give it a 5 on a scale of 1-10. If you're craving root beer, make yourself a root beer float. Don't buy Theo's Root Beer Barrel.   
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Second, I'm going on an Internet detox break for several weeks. One reason for this is to work on finishing my next book. It's a sequel to Woman on the Verge called InSanity. 
Here's a teaser from page one:


   Is it just me or are everybody’s braincells mysteriously busy boogers, frenetically body-slamming against each other’s elastic membranes, then rebounding fullspeed ahead like Sarah Palin at the mention of the 1892 Alaskan Takedown Cartridge Rifle?
   She’s horny, right? I mean, anyone with that degree of calculated idiocy, that endless supply of plastic smiles and short tight skirts—Does she not know she lives in—Hello!­ Alaska? She’s gotta have a deviant libido. Or am I just jealous 'cuz she's one of those pretty-dumb-rich bitches? Yeah, that too. But let’s fixate on the former. It’s more fun, and I’m so weird.
   He doesn’t notice.
   Am I crazy? Am I not crazy? If I’m crazy, am I crazy for thinking I’m not crazy? If I'm not crazy, am I crazy for not realizing that I'm not crazy? But if I am in fact crazy, am I not in fact crazy for thinking that—my musings hurt. Let’s agree that I’m not crazy. No? No, no?
   Oh all right, yes. Yes, yes. Check box one, check box two. Cash? No, check. Check please.
   I hate waiting for the check. They’re never quick to bring it. Twenty minutes later they act all smiley, flip it under your nose, and announce “Take your time.” I already did, honey, waiting for you to bring the damn check! Here's your tip: Pick up the pace; you're on the clock.
   Warmed bed sheets brush briskly against my right calf.
   My face lowers itself hypnotically, as I sink into Jeff’s thoughtful gray-blue irises. Oh, I forgot: I’m having sex. Like, now. And I’m not alone.

32 comments:

  1. I'd rather have the root beer float.
    Cool you are working on another book. You're right, why do they take their time with the check? And when they drop it off, they run like a rabbit and hide, even though you are holding your cash or credit card and if they would just pause a second, you could pay.

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    1. Haha! I'm so glad you have the same experience. They take hours, right? And then they act as though they deliver it immediately but they want a good tip, so you shouldn't be hurried. Crazy!
      Have a great week and a root beer float, Alex.

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  2. A new book? That's exciting! Enjoy your internet detox although it sounds like you're going to be busy!

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    1. I'll have stories when I'm back here, Debra.
      Thank you.

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  3. excited for your new book. And yes, you are crazy (in a very good way). And then there's Jeff....

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    1. I think I'm starting to accept that, Joanne.
      Thank you, my dear.

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    1. Not yet ready for publication but closer than ever.
      Thanks, Sage.
      Be well.

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  5. Good for you on the new book! I don't like root beer so I know to skip that chocolate. Crazy? Never!(I am saying it like Helen Mirren in that commercial). You didn't know you were with someone...ouch!

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    1. It was THAT boring, Birgit. What can I say? I really know how to pick 'em, it seems.
      Smiles!

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  6. Yep, they sure take their sweet arse time with the check indeed. A new book is a win, as is an internet detox many a time.

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    1. On those rare occasions when you really do want to take your time, though, they slap the check under your nose. Ya just can't win, Pat.

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  7. I've never been a huge fan of root beer but cream soda is a fave! I could use an internet detox but I never do it.

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    1. Mmm, cream soda is yum!
      It's hard to break away, isn't it? I'll explain more when I'm back. (I haven't made the break yet, obviously). =)

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  8. I've always found that not being alone is the best way to be when you're having sex.

    They make one of those single-serving powdered drink mixes that tastes exactly like A&W Root Beer. The only problem is, you mix it with bottled water. UNcarbonated bottled water. So you're basically drinking FLAT root beer. Who the hell thinks these things up?!?

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    1. Ha! Yeah, a partner is preferred. Sometimes.
      That drink sounds fairly disgusting, Silver. Funny though.
      Cheers.

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    2. When it comes to the pros and cons of having a partner for sex, I used to say that one of the arguments in favor of masturbation was that you meet a better class of people.

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  9. Dear Robyn, neither of us is crazier than the other. I believe I've just defined sanity.

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  10. I really like root beer floats, too, but I prefer the appropriate season which is the above zero season. Rumor has it that it might happen this year. Can't wait!
    Who the hell is Jeff?! Oh, I get it! A work of fiction! For a moment,I thought you might be having an actual relationship.
    Have a lovely time away from cyberworld! Can't wait for the book!

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    1. Ha! Ouch- Jono. It's nonfiction, but years ago and I'm wondering if I've ever had an "actual relationship." How is that defined?

      Thank you. My detox starts by tomorrow afternoon...Gotta start letting go of this keyboard.
      Cheers, my friend.

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  11. Have you ever tasted " not your fathers root beer"? Its sooo good! Its got alcohol added and its very tasty as a float.
    yay for the new book!!!

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    1. That sounds good, Holli. I never heard of it.
      Thank you.
      Be well.

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  12. I'm sure your new book will be packed with humor, like all the rest of them. Looking forward to reading it!

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  13. When I visited New York the first time, I didn't realize you needed to ask for the check. Here in West Virginia, restaurants must want you the hell out quick because they bring the check right after asking you if you want dessert. My friends and I sat at a table waiting and waiting. I finally remembered my dad would do the finger wave and say, "check, please" whenever he caught the waiter's eye. We did it and it worked.

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    1. The finger wave - I know that one. Oh, wait - you're not talking about THAT finger. I'm more crass. But yeah, I've often said "Check please." I wish I didn't have to say it so often. Interesting about NY. Kinda strange too, but I guess they figure you'll keep buying booze as long as you're sitting there.
      Cheers, Elizabeth.

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  14. "A partner is preferred," indeed. You are formed for love, ma petite, and within twenty months you and your amour will be sitting up in bed feeding each other chocolate rootbeer floats. I see it.

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  15. Root beer and chocolate is not a pair I would have imagined. A new book--that's great! I hope you enjoy your internet break and get a lot of writing done.

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  16. Damn. Now I want a root bear float. And it appears I came back to blogging and you're taking a break. Hopefully we'll be in sync somewhere down the road.

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  17. Ooohh sounds exciting!
    And a little crazy haha
    Great to hear youre still writing and being productive! Awesome!
    Xo

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  18. Enjoy your break and good luck with your book. I’m not able to leave a proper link to the blog, as I’m on my ipad and the link thing just is super cumbersome. I’m not a big candy fan, or chocolate fan, or root beer fan, so I’ll pass on the product, but I did love and drink lots of root beer floats when I was pregnant. Who knows why, lol.

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