And I Wrote This Book.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Top 20 Funniest Comments of 2013: Starring YOU!

The cast and crew of Life by Chocolate gathered to vote on your funniest comments of the year. When I asked Macaulay Culkin (he needed the work) to sort through over 17,000 comments to determine his top picks, he said something I can't pronounce or spell. Then he disappeared to catch burglars or tweak or something. Thus it was all up to me. That said, it's Macaulay's fault if you aren't featured below.

Truth be told, I didn't actually read through over 17,000 comments, so I likely missed yours. I did capture some gems, though. In fact, I wasn't able to narrow it down to 10, as I originally intended. Instead, I've listed 20, in no particular order.

Thank you all for your supportive, silly, caring, and hilarious words. You help make Life by Chocolate the sweet and spunky place it's been for nearly five years.

Love and all good things as a new year approaches. Keep a smile and a stash of fair-trade chocolate.
*****************************************************

1) Melissa Bradley said...I'll bet short hairy bald man would be the first to say "No Fat Chicks."

2) Empty Nest Insider said...Forget the million dollar man, but the rest seem better than roadkill.

3) Julie Luek said...Ummm... enjoy your banana?

4) Alex J. Cavanaugh said...If he met Chewy during a family reunion, that's a giveaway that the man probably goes through razors like there's no tomorrow.

5) Melissa Bradley said...He met Chewy in the woods?!! It's Chewie as any Star Wars fan knows. If he can't get that right, why bother dating him? I mean he should know that Chewy is an adjective not a Wookie.

6) A Beer For The Shower said...I won't go NEAR anyone that has an anus. That's just gross. I mean, have a little dignity, please.

7) Gorilla Bananas said..."Make Feel Some Type Of Way" definitely has potential as a song lyric. Maybe a duet involving Pee Wee Herman and Kermit the Frog.

8) Al Penwasser said One peacock to another: "What do you mean, size matters?"

9) Alex J. Cavanaugh said...She tied him up? Literally? And that was a problem?


10) Theresa said...You certainly don't want to get stuck with someone who can't stand to be tied up every now and again, eh? Where's the adventure in that!?

11) Debra She Who Seeks said...Poor Rudolf. It happens to all males eventually.
Delete

12) Debra She Who Seeks said...Maybe he should try "Fly-agra"?

13) L. Diane Wolfe said...It's always sad when a reindeer can't glow it up.


*    14)Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said Beef jerky mixed with chocolate? I love science.
*       
15) klahanie said…You would go to Fartasy Island and some little dude would call out, "The Pain! The Pain!"

16) LD Masterson said… Are those performance enhancing pills covered by Obamacare?

17) M.L. Swift said That pushy little bitch.

18) Stephen Hayes said He might make a great lay but I wouldn't get emotionally involved.

19) My Journey With Candida said You WILL get sand in your crack and anywhere else it can go.

20) Momma Fargo said...Sand Up The Crack is not fun. Always be on top. You will have exfoliated knees. I can't believe I just typed that. And I can't believe I'm going to publish this comment.

42 comments:

  1. Pure comedy gold! Thanks for the shout-out! I'm off to exfoliate my knees now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I'd been part of the "Sand Up The Crack" debate. I might not have contributed anything useful, but the honour of being there would have been enough.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those are awesome! And you selected two of mine? Thank you, Robyn.
    And for the record, being tied up is still not a problem with me...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Always good to catch up with these Robyn - just to feel a sense of relief that none of my boneheaded comments appeared lol xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. lol some great picks, who knew so many people has had sand up their crack.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AHAHAHAHA Those were awesome quips!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. An accumulation of wittiness and innuendo. . .
    Good catch, Robyn.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It's always funny here. These were great!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh these are funny! As for the banana comment-- I'm sure there was context for it.

    Alex, Alex, who knew there were shades of Gray in him?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awesome as always Robyn. Have a great New Year my Friend- 2014 is OURSSSSSSSssssssssssssssss...........

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love this. I learned how to exfoliate my knees. I'm gonna put that on Pinterest. PIN ME!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your comments are giving me a great start on next year's funniest.

    Julie, not much context, not much more than you (or I) can imagine that is. For some strange reason, I'm drawn to bananas.

    Great point about Alex, too. He has one very lucky wife.

    Seductress, we're going to have the softest kneecaps of any other pairs in the Dwarf Olympics. Can't wait!

    I love you all.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  13. As far as having an anus or not, I'll take their word for it. By the way, I'd go near someone WITH an anus. Standing near someone without an anus runs the risk of being caught in an explosion when their "bidness" backs up. Incidentally, I've used the word 'anus' four times in one comment. And who says there are no more experiences to be had?
    Anus.
    Okay, five.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Those are hilarious, Robyn, especially since they're taken out of context! My imagination runneth wild...as you intended, no doubt. :)
    Bananas, huh? That Julie...shameless underneath the girl-next-door charm.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hahaha! These are great! Fun post. :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. Priceless stuff!

    Here's to a very happy (and funny!) new year!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Some good ones in there - love no. 1. Of course, yr search engine was faulty coz it seemed to have missed my many brilliantly hilarious comments... ;)

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is a great idea for a post and it's too bad more people don't steal your idea.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Damn. Now I have to really up my game to get back on the list. I was tops last year.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm honored to appear on your 2013 list, and a bit relieved that it didn't start with an "S!" I do feel badly that you only included one of Al's comments. I think you hurt his anus. Just think only a few days ago your poem brought me to tears, and now I can't stop laughing. You have a gift, Robyn. Thanks for sharing it. All the best in the New Year!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love all the comments and actually think the avatar "Gorilla Bananas" is hilarious!

    I'm wishing you a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2014!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'm happy to report that I do, in fact, possess an anus, hurt or no. So you can stand next me without running the risk of an explosion.
    In related news, I've never written the word 'anus' so much in my life.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I meant to write next TO me. I was in a hurry to write this comment. I have to go, you know.
    Thus lessening the chances for an explosion.
    You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  24. What a neat idea for a post. And those comments are hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Julie/Empty Nest, have you noticed that AlP keeps butting in? I think he's getting back at me for hurting his anus. Truth be told, every comment of his is prize worthy, even the ones he pulls out of his anu-- sleave. But that's all of them.

    Al, Al, Al, Al, Al, stop making me laugh so much. I'm going to pee. And I have a ...what is it? That singer, Euretha Franklin or something like that? I don't know, but I know I have an anus too. I think.

    Bryan and Brandon, look at all this crap you started. And you haven't even dropped by to clean up some of this mess.

    Stephen, it would be fun if more bloggers did this, but I wonder if anyone else's (besides Al Penwasser's) would get so twisted.

    All, thank you, my sillies.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  26. LOL! I actually said something funny. I always warn people who attend my seminars that there are some funny speakers out there; however, I am not one of them.

    The exfoliated knees comment is so funny.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Aww, I'm on here! How cool! I have to say the exfoliated knees quip is my favorite ;)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi Robyn,

    Wow and thanks for including shy and humble me amongst such comedic intellectuals. I see no mention of Humpty Dumpty, the greatest off-the-wall comedian, ever!

    Say hello to Mr. Culkin if you ever manage to catch his attention.

    Smiles, everybody, smiles!

    Thanks again, Robyn.

    Gary :) x

    ReplyDelete
  29. These are all hilarious, and I'm flattered to see one of mine here. The kicker? I don't even remember the context... so... extra hilarity.

    This post just shows why you have such awesome readers.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Fun post. Thanks for the laughs. :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Those are hilarious! Some people are so clever. Brilliant post!!
    Happy New Year, Robyn.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Haha! Always some witty ones out there. So excited I made the cut! Woohoo!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh dear. You thought I was joking?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Haha, LD. I mean, that is seriously valid question. I'll have to get back to you on that.

    Thank you, wonderful readers.
    Happy 2014!
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  35. 1 and 5 are my favorites. Hilarious.

    ReplyDelete