Have you noticed that insecurities tend to wreak havoc with the creative process? Well, Alex J. Cavanaugh did something about this problem; he founded an Insecure Writer’s Support Group. We’re posting monthly, exposing our vulnerabilities and/or offering support to one another. Please check out Alex’s blog to visit others’ posts. It’s a group of kind-hearted bloggers/writers, authors and all-around great folks. Join us, if you haven't already! All that's required is an insecurity or two hundred.
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Robyn: Today, it's my distinct pleasure to welcome a special guest to the Life by Chocolate studio. She's a successful writer, a glamorous fashionista, and the main character of one of TV’s biggest hits, Sex and the City. Let’s give a warm round of applause to Ms. Carrie Bradshaw!
Carrie walks on stage with a
beaming smile and gaudy hat. Robyn motions to her to sit down.
Robyn: Thanks
so much for being here, Carrie. You really
inspire me…to feel incredibly insecure as a woman and a writer. I mean, look at you. You’re smoking hot, with
a perfect body and hair, no wrinkle lines or off-putting facial features – except
that mole on your chin. Smirking, Robyn
says in a low but still audible tone: I guess Hollywood can’t cover it all
up!
Mortified, Carrie places her chin in her hand to hide her mole.
Robyn: Oh
I’m sorry, Carrie. Don’t mind me. I’m extremely jealous, that’s all. Shoot even that mole is sexy on you. And that closet of
yours – the one you landed when you married Big! I could live in it, Carrie, quite
happily too. Are you renting it out, per chance? Not that I could afford…
Carrie: No, we’re not renting. She giggles. I’ve got too many Jimmy Choos in there.
Robyn: Jimmys? Robyn
smiles. Are any of them single? Yeah, I could be eternally happy in there.
Looking perplexed, Carrie says: Jimmy Choo is a shoe brand, sweetie.
Robyn: Oh.
Robyn glances down at her holey Easy Spirits
and smiles upon recalling the purchase during a Walmart shoe sale in 1995. Back then, she fought an old, burly tattooed woman for it and was victorious. I
hear you. I have three pairs of shoes myself.
There’s little room left in my closet for a housemate, or a mole.
Besides your closet, I'm awestruck by the fact that you make
a fortune writing about sex and the city. My angle is a cheap rip-off of yours. I write
about celibacy and suburbia. So far, I’ve earned $14.13 for a year’s worth of
articles. What’s a gal gotta do to make some real cash, have sex on camera? Oh –
Robyn and Carrie look
at each other and nod.
Robyn, resigned: I’m in trouble.
Carrie pulls a pack of Marlboro Lights out of her Gucci bag and takes a drag. Extending her arm towards Robyn she asks: Want one?
Robyn: No
thanks. I don’t smoke. Let’s talk about
Big. Is he named after his wallet or something else? Sigh. If I could have just a hand or fingerful of what he’s got,
I’d be happy. Looking towards Carrie: Actually, I’ll take a drag.
Carrie hands over her
cigarette. Robyn clumsily inhales, blows out, and begins a raucous coughing
spasm.
Carrie grasps the handle of her Gucci bag, flashes a smile
at the audience and exits the stage.
The Life by Chocolate janitor scrambles to bring Robyn a cup of water.
Postscript: No offense is intended by this post. I’m
a big fan of Sarah Jessica Parker. I think she’s gorgeous and incredibly
talented; I’m extremely jealous (of her and Carrie), that’s all.
30 comments:
I don't think Carrie's hat looks gaudy at all. I rather like it.
Smack me upside the head, it's been a million years since I last visited and I am so sorry. :)
I loved this! And hell to the yeah Carrie certainly brings out the insecurity in me. Her writing life the one I had envisioned when I started down this road as a kid. Was I naive or what?
Huge hugs, my friend. We will get our Carrie Bradshaw lives someday, I know it. :)
I don't know why she doesn't have that mole removed, it must be an easy job for a cosmetic surgeon. Is she worried people will say "Hey, where's your mole, Sarah?". Good interview, Robyn, I think you made her jealous of you!
Great bit about the fight with the "old burly tattooed woman" for the worn-out shoes! Very clever, but I prefer your "Celibacy and Suburbia" to a Sex and The City part 3! Julie
I'm interested in knowing how "Big" came by that name. And incidently...with her money she can afford to lose the mole, although I've seen it airbrushed out in magazine shoots you just can't airbrush actual life. As for Jimmy Choo shoes...they look better worn up in the air if you get my drift. Remember Samantha's dog humping Carrie's $300 yellow and white pillow. Who buys a $300 throw pillow??
I'm a fan of the show ...but her? Not so much. Can't wait to see what her legs will look like when she is my age. Maybe some big varicose veins eh? :)~Ames
I love when you do interviews like this, Carrie Bradshaw is definitely a good inspirational character when it comes to inspiring a lady to write with no fears for sure.
Hilarious, Robyn! I think she would be amused by this.
Stephen, moles, gaudy hats...it all looks good on her.
Melissa, I'm always thrilled to see you, girlfriend. I've been naive along with you. Huge hugs and agreement we'll get our Bradshaw chapters someday. I don't even need the Choos.
GB, it is odd, given how vein Hollywood is and how obvious that mole is.
EmptyNest, thanks for the compliment. I really liked part 1 but didn't see 2; the story line sounds hokey. Guess I'm stuck with celibacy and suburbia.
Ames, they never explain Big's name, do they? Guess he likes big shoes...and that's what she gets for buying a $300 pillow.
YW, thanks so much. Carrie is someone us gals can relate to, except her sex appeal and sex life and money and looks and body...
Alex, thank you kindly.
xoRobyn
I always wondered why anyone would be named “Big.” Can you believe I never thought of THAT?? Duh.
I have lots of shoes – if flip-flops can be counted as shoes. ;)
I like her Guaca MOLE!!!!!!!
Her Jimmy Choos,
and best of all when she was in L.A. STORY!
;-) Love ya...getting singler!
J
Make fun all you wish, as I never liked her one bit haha
Women like that always bring out my insecurities too. My default is to judge them and not like them. But I'm working on that. I've never watched Sex and the City, but I prefer your blog. :)
LOL, I always wondered how she afforded all those Jimmy Choos and Manolos on her writers salary.
I've got to get by here more often. You make me laugh and I could use more of that. Only disappointed that there was 'no offence intended'. LOL
Hahahaha! So funny...I got your name from Alex's IWSG..Celibacy and Suburbia! I laughed so hard..thanks for the chuckles!
This is my kind of post! Thanks! Celibacy and Suburbia - why not - I'll join in writing it -we'll make a fortune...I can see it now.
Great fantasy! I think SJP's sort of cute, and I don't care about her chin mole, but jeez, she needs to do something about her hair to cover her huge forehead (or as my hubby says, "fivehead").
And the shoes ... don't get me started. On Twitter this morning, a woman, a friend of friends of friends, posted a pic of a pair of $800 shoes she'd allegedly just purchased. I had to restrain myself from saying what I could buy if I had $800 lying around.
Perhaps she could rent out her mole?
I thought in the end, it all worked out marvellously because you had a 'raucous coughing orgasm.'
But then I realised I'd read it wrong.
;)
Beautiful work..
ps I'm sure beyond the lights and the makeup is plenty of wrinkles..especially now!
Sex and the City 3? Please.... NO!
Oh Robyn ... I'd choose hanging out with you over Carrie any day!
Beth, I have lots of socks - if mismatched can be counted as pairs. And he's called Big because he's got a big wallet, right? Wink.
John, LA Story is priceless. That was her first big break, right?
Pat, oh good. Thanks.
BabySis, you're sweet. That's my default, but I'm not working on it. It's the green eyed monster for me for the long haul. =)
Johanna, yeah, and I forgot to mention entry into upscale Manhattan clubs and cosmos nightly.
Faraways, I'm honored to make you laugh. I added the disclaimer because I liked an interview of her regarding the movie. She's seems pretty down to earth, though you never know. She could be a Choo hog in real life.
That mole may do something for her now, but when shes an old lady and stops trimming the mole hair off of it, it isn't going to look very good...
Great and funny post Robyn!
I'm happy to report that I've NEVER seen that show. Not even once!
She didn't answer you about Big though did she?
Could she have considered the question impudent?
Eve, it makes me smile to have made you laugh. Thanks.
JanM, I've no shortage of material re: celibacy and suburbia. Let's talk! Thanks.
JanA, thanks for the laughs! Love your comment. Heck if I had any kind of spare money, I would take a trip, not spend it on clothes. It's 1995 Easy Spirits for this gal.
Anthony, you're such a great friend, you still have hope for me. Thanks!
Beth, you're so kind. Thank you. And I'd much rather hang out with you than any of those 4 divas.
Pat, I'm glad. Real men don't watch Sex and the City. Did I just write that?
Tom, either that or she doesn't want to reveal that Big is impotent.
Thanks, all, for your fun comments.
xoRobyn
You had me at "Easy Spirit" shoes and "Walmart" milady.
Yes. Remember making money from writing? That's so . . . 1996.
Sigh.
luvs ya, girl --Dawn
I love your writing.
It's funny I don't remember meeting anyone named Carrie and I'm BIG? I guess I should be more mindful of the people I meet in-between shovels of fattening food at the buffet line? Fun post - thanks! W.C.C.
That was the single greatest closet I've ever seen. It was bigger than my first studio apartment.
:-)
jj
I like chocolate! :)
love your writing style!
big hugs
xo
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