And I Wrote This Book.

Monday, June 27, 2011

**Placeholder**

Please save my place. I'll be gone for a bit. I'm going to see my sweetie, my love, my heart...We've been counting the days. It's been too long since we've seen each other. It's not like the above photo, though.

It's like this one:       

Have I mentioned what a proud Auntie I am? I know, Jeremy's so beautiful, and look at those curls!

Be well and excuse my absence. In the meantime, I leave you with some fun stuff.
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Rosalind Adam tagged me. There's work involved, but I'm bypassing the labor in favor of simply accepting a Seriously Cute Blogger award. (It's so cute it's not posting. Sorry.) Rosalind's writing is beautiful and heartfelt. She's an inspirational woman and successful author. I encourage you to visit/follow her blog here.

I am passing this award on to two men I adore for their cuteness, hilarity and kindness. Moreover, their blogs are way under-appreciated. I hope you'll visit/follow these guys too: John McElveen at Full on Forward and Al Penwasser at  Penwasser's Place. Al's header picture, alone, is the best. I'm sure you'll agree. He's a very quick wit and always makes me laugh. John's posts are filled with silly and meaningful pictures, videos and jokes. John is as sweet as chocolate cheesecake.
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Next, I have a couple of juicy recent articles on - whispering - SEX at examiner.com. You can find them by clicking on "one" below.

This one is on Sex, the Orthodox Jewish way. [Hint: there is no holy bed-sheet between the couple.]

This one is on Sex Post-Divorce: My First Time. [Hint: it's really, really good even when it's just alright.]

I earn a fraction of one cent for every hit on my articles. I'm saving for a laptop. At this rate, I hope to have one by age 245. Thanks in advance for helping me get there!
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Finally, I'm tweeting @Rawknrob and facebooking at Robyn Alana Engel. 
If you haven't been sucked in yet, it's a matter of time. It'd be great to connect there too.

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Hugs and chocolate!
Take care and I'll see you soon. xo Robyn

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Which Came First? Sundays in My City

Unknownmami hosts a wonderful worldwide party on Sundays. Today, I'm welcoming you back to Chico for a little game of Which Came First?! 

Feel free to offer answers and explanation to any or all of the following three questions, as I have neither answers nor explanation.

1) Which came first: 

A) the couch and vase with plastic flowers
OR B) the house  ?
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2) Which came first:

A) the fire hydrant OR
B) the mailbox   ?
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3) (Final question) Which came first:

A) Normal AVENUE on which you can find the Normal STREET Bar  (I know it's hard to decipher, but the sign above the stop sign on the far right reads "Normal Avenue".)  OR
 



B) the Normal STREET bar on Normal AVENUE   ?


Cheers! Have a wonderful new week.
Please forgive me for not returning responses in a timely manner. I love my abnormally funky hometown. For now, though, I'm going away for a little while.  Tomorrow's post will explain.
Be well. xo Robyn

Give and Take, a Saturday Centus

The Saturday Centus challenges us to write a piece within 100 words based on a prompt. Yikes. We can only use 60 words this week. Jenny is our wonderful teacher and hostess. Please check out the other offerings. There are much more sane writers than me  whose blogs are well worth visiting.  The prompt is bolded below.  Enjoy and have a great weekend! xo Robyn
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Give and Take

A gal likes a looker. You’re one; I can’t lie.
You don’t stop a-lookin’ at babes who stroll by.

We all want a giver
And giving you do
To Jasmine, Carlotta, Me and Mary Lou.

Now, take this Dear John:

"You’re a jackass.
We’re through.
Love,
Jasmine, Carlotta, Me and Mary Lou”

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

On Why I Choose Celibacy, Reasons #109-115: Dress Socks, Quotation Marks and Utter Weirdness

Taken directly from current on-line dating ads, my reasons for celibacy continue to 115. The ads are bolded and my comments, italicized. I hope you enjoy because somebody’s got to.
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REASON #109: Hmmm.... I wear a lot of black. A LOT. But not because I'm weird, it's just my favorite color and it just so happens to go with everything. Ain’t that a coincidence so remarkable it’s an amazing way to start your ad!? I also wear dress socks, no matter what. Weird? Maybe. Fun? Yes. Weird? Yes. A LOT. Fun? Dress socks? Not my idea of a good time but go wild (by yourself)! Knock those socks off!

REASON #110: I'm seeking a female that is comfortable in her own skin...someone that has experienced life, enjoyed the good times and learned from the not so good times...someone that earns her own keep and isn't looking for a relationship to pay her obligations...someone that is trusting and appreciative...I guess I'm seeking a genuine, honest perwson. Um, I haven’t seen one of those around. Did you try Walmart?  

REASON #111:  I am a BANANA!!! That’s your headline? Alright, you fed me the line, so let’s see you split.

REASON #112: I am somewhat of an artist, in that I make custome furniture,rustic and western style, and I also remodel homes. It keeps me busy, and trav3elling. It also makes it difficult to form a good relationship. You'll have to be patient, but trust me, it will be worth it.Some might see me as arrogant or "coc ky". Which syllable gets the emphasis in “coc ky”?Note: that’s a rhetorical “quest shun”!  I prefer to describe myself as "exuding confidence". I prefer to call you “coc ky”! But then it's my opinion that often, we support or highlight the good in us, I don't think we would get very far by broadcasting our downfalls all we can do, is hope they are tollerable, You charge a toll for your downfalls? You must be one rich coc ky “bas tard” with emphasis on the second syllable.

REASON #113: Here, because I'm not all there :) You’re not all here either, darlin’.

REASON #114: I am a full time father 50% of the time. You weren’t a statistics major, were you?... I am very open minded, do not like conflict, drama or superficiality. I am not into status simbles. Like the kind Moroccan belly dancers use? I like simple things and quality time. I suppose I can scale down to a basic tambourine like Tracy on the Partridge family. I am very family oriented. I would like to meet someone who too is laid back, sincere, open minded, and funny. I am not on a "mission" to get "re-married" right away.

REASON #115: I know at my age and those I meet at or near my age, there will be some drama. But I do not want "drama". Tell me, how exactly does drama differ from “drama”? And why did #114 put quotation marks around “mission” and “re-married”? Were you in the same English “class”?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Signs of Chico, Sundays in My City

Unknownmami hosts a wonderful worldwide party on Sundays. Today, I've got some signs to show you.

On a different note, my posts have not been feeding into the google reader for several weeks. I'd be lying if I said I'm fixing the problem. I don't know what else to try. If anyone has suggestions, that would be wonderful! Thank you.
                                     HAPPY SUNDAY AND FATHER'S DAY!

Welcome to Chico,
              where some signs are potentially helpful

and some signs are clearly redundant


      and some signs should probably be taken down already.


Thanks for visiting. Enjoy your day, especially all you dads out there!  xo

Rhyme and No Reason, a Saturday Centus

The Saturday Centus challenges us to write a piece within 100 words based on a prompt. Jenny is our wonderful teacher and host. Please check out the other offerings. There are much more sane writers than me  whose blogs are well worth visiting.  As usual, the prompt is bolded below.

This one's inspired by three Mother Goose nursery rhymes: Mary, Mary; Little Jack Horner; and Little Bo Peep.

Enjoy and happy Saturday! xo Robyn
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Rhyme and No Reason

Q: Mary, Mary, strange and hairy
What is your gardening magic?

A: Within the stone and soil
Nothing's grown; I don't toil.
I've fooled the world with plastic!

**

Little Jack Truth
Sat in a booth
While gorging at Home Town Buffet
He stuck in his pinkie and pulled out a Twinkie
Then cheered "This is my lucky day!"

**

Peppy Bo Peep
Was unable to sleep 
After a double espresso with cake
So she turned on the news, read legislative reviews,
and now dreams of staying awake.

Friday, June 17, 2011

400 THANKS!!

To all of my now 400 followers, thank you  for sampling Life by Chocolate.
 Your support makes me very, very happy.

PS In case you can't read or view/enlarge the graphic (I'm still plagued by posting problems):
~I'm thinking I wouldn't mind if that hottie tweeted me.
~Millie and Gertie are hoping you didn't notice they're recycled from my 300 post.
~And I've bestowed much gratitude, love and chocolate to my 400 followers! 
Have a wonderful weekend! xo Robyn

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Woman on the Verge of Paradise: Remembering Paradise

 
Sign reads "May you find Paradise to be all its name implies."

Thanks for joining me on the verge of Paradise, as this chapter of my life unfolds. If you're new to Life by Chocolate, or just madly trying to catch up with your blog reading (Can we ever truly catch up?), this non-fictional story begins here. My last Paradise post is this one. While I strive for accuracy regarding place and time, I alter names as I see fit.  
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Remembering Paradise

Sometimes it’s easy to remember Paradise is nearby, like when
I awake safe and warm.

But then I forget when
The neighbors blast Rush Limbaugh on their radio.

And I remember again when
I notice my favorite bumper sticker on someone else’s car: “Well behaved women rarely make history.”

But then I forget when
A young family waits patiently for help at the free clinic, the children appearing sick and disheveled.

And I remember again when
I spy kids delightfully running and playing in the yard behind the clinic.

But then I forget when
Loneliness hits. This is not the life I always dreamed of.

And I remember again when
I write.

But then I forget when
I stare at the screen, frozen by page fright.

And I remember again when
The words flow out of me.

But then I forget when
I have nobody to share the journey with.

And I remember again when
I receive the message: “Soandso from Suchandsuch dating site wants to meet you!”

But then I forget when
I read Soandso’s ad: “I’m heavely tattooed. If you can’t deal with that, move on. I like going out to bars and stuff but I also like staying in for quite nights on the farm.”

And I remember again when
I don’t respond.

But then I forget when
The winds and rain start back up.

And I remember again when
The sun comes out.

But then I forget when
I learn of good, innocent people suffering here and across the world.

And I remember again when
I awake safe and warm.

Monday, June 13, 2011

This 27 Year Old Rose


I wrote this poem in 1983 when I was 17(and rather intense). My goal was to enter it into a poetry contest, but only if it was good enough.  So I nervously showed my sister to get her feedback. Dawn perused it and scoffed, “You didn’t write this!” I gulped, thinking Okay, what do I do with this?  What I did was hide it away, never to show anyone…until now. Gulp. I did mention I was intense. Right?

Around the same time, I painted the above picture. 
Have a rosy day!  
This Rose

From a tiny seed blooms a single rose.
Distinctiveness, sweet smell, and beauty it holds.
This rose thrives, while sharing its hue, taking heat from the sun and the cool droplets of dew.
Amid the chirping of the birds, plants swaying in the breeze,
I can almost hear this rose say, “Today, I am happy.”
The brown soil hardens and leaves start to wilt. Days of summer have faded by.
I watch this rose grow older, tears forming in my eyes.
A special crimson it once had, a deep red color – such vividness.
Before the changing of the seasons, this rose’s change in appearance.
This rose has been undergoing internal changes too.
Environmental differences create new points of view.
I’m aware of all these things, for this rose I’ve watched grow.
Of its sentiments, its transformations, no one but I will ever know.
Uninvited winter storms approach as tears surge from my eyes.
Though losing much vitality, through the harsh weather it survives.
If it could express itself, this rose would say, “This isn’t fair! Look what’s happening to me!”
Suddenly, two leaves descend from its stem, carried off by an active breeze.
The account for such anguish this rose is feeling is evident:
Those youthful days of summer WON’T EVER BE AGAIN.
While petals vary to shades of gray, happiness, beauty, strength all continue to decay.
I watch now as this rose shrivels up to die complacently
Leaving behind one vivid red petal,
A part of you and me.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Chico's Natural Beauty: Sundays in My City

Unknownmami hosts a wonderful worldwide party on Sundays. I'm a bit late in the game, but I have a few naturally beautiful scenes for you. (I've been having some problems posting photos, so please forgive me if these don't come out. This is partly a test. THANK YOU!)

Bidwell park


downtown outdoor mall

Close to S&S Organic foods


I hope you had a lovely weekend! 
Thanks for visiting and feel free to enlarge any of these ;0). 
xo Robyn

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Cracked Egg, Cracked Poet: a Saturday Centus

The Saturday Centus challenges us to write a piece within 100 words based on a prompt. Jenny is our wonderful teacher and host. Please check out the other offerings. I'm guessing mine's the most cracked. There are more sane class members and their blogs are well worth visiting.  This week we were allowed to use 200 words. (I'm not making you endure more than 120.) As usual, the prompt is bolded below.

This one's inspired by Mary Goose's well known childhood nursery rhyme, Humpty Dumpty.

Enjoy and happy Saturday! xo Robyn
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Cracked Egg, Scrambled Town

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

"Sue!" cried the Counsel, tasting money and fame.

"The wall was built long ago. Our state is to blame:

 Construction malfunction! I'm quite the sharp tack.

I just wish I could bring our poor Eggy back." 

The entire town wept over Hump's inner goo.

But grief turned to distrust when the vestiges grew. 

Mr. Bacon climbed up to the top of the wall 

and found a huge keg whence Dump took a fall.

He sniffed and he licked but the beer was all gone.

With yolk 'round the rim, the evidence was strong.

"Looks like we've been had," he relayed to them all,

"by an imbalanced egg that fell off the wall!"